‘Moira Anderson eat your heart out’
From Jeroen Schipper’s FAQ: "Moira Anderson is a Scottish middle-of-the-road singer, who sings, among other things, cloyingly sweet versions of Scottish traditional songs. Loch Lomond is exactly the sort of thing she would sing - hence Fish's comment."

Incidentally, the two songs bastardised in Margaret are Loch Lomond and Mairi's Wedding (Pronounced as far as I can tell from my Billy Connolly version, as 'Murray' although it would seem to make more sense if it were a Gaelic spelling of Mary or Marie.) Here they are in full, courtesy of

Mairi's Wedding

Step we gaily on we go 
Heel for heel and toe for toe 
Arm in arm and row on row 
All for Mairi's wedding.

Over hillways up and down 
Myrtle green and bracken brown 
Past the shieling through the town 
All for sake of Mairi.


Red her cheeks as rowans are 
Bright her eye as any star 
Fairest of them all by far 
Is my darlin' Mairi.


Plenty herring, plenty meal 
Plenty peat to fill her creel 
Plenty bonny bairns as weel 
That's the toast of Mairi.

Chorus (Twice) 

Loch Lomond 

By yon bonnie banks 
And by yon bonnie braes, 
Where the sun shines bright 
On Loch Lomond 
Oh we twa ha'e pass'd sae 
mony blithesome days, 
On the bonnie, bonnie banks 
O' Loch Lomond.

Oh ye'll tak' the high road 
and I'll tak' the low road, 
An' I'll be in Scotland before ye', 
But wae is my heart 
until we meet again 
On the Bonnie, bonnie banks 
O' Loch Lomond.

I mind where we parted 
In yon shady glen 
On the steep, steep side 
O' Ben Lomon' 
Where in purple hue 
The highland hills we view 
And the morn shines out 
Frae the gloamin'


The wee bird may sing 
An' the wild flowers spring; 
An' in sunshine 
The waters are sleepin' 
But the broken heart 
It sees nae second spring, 
And the world does na ken 
How we're greetin'


AKA LySergic Acid Diethylamide or LSD. A powerful chemical which increases the production of neurotransmitter substances across the synaptic gaps of the brain and thus can allow parts of the brain that are only distantly aware of each other to become best friends. Terrible/interesting hallucinations, allegedly. The verb describing being under the influence is ‘tripping’.

Hash, Marijuana, Weed, Ganja, whatever’s your fancy. All basically derivatives of a spiky leafed plant. The effects of smoking dope is to make you feel tired, often giggly, occasionally brilliant, and you get the munchies, which involves crawling to the nearest all-night garage and buying lots of pickled onion-flavour Monster Munch and Jaffa cakes. The verb describing being under the influence is ‘stoned’. So, technically, it’s obvious that Fish will be stoned before the other person, because acid takes a while to kick in. But I think that’s a little too pedantic...

Infopedia 94: "mar·i·jua·na also mar·i·hua·na \,mar-e-'wä-ne also -'hwä-\ n [MexSp mariguana, marihuana] (1894) 
1: the dried leaves and flowering tops of the pistillate hemp plant that yield THC (the psychoactive ingredient of dope - Stoned Ed) and are smoked in cigarettes for their intoxicating effect."

Marillion’s original touring van was christened Margaret. It was green, and they supposedly put an obituary in the paper when it broke down for the last time.

In 2002, Mark Kelly commented on the Online Forum at, "The title was changed from Scot’s Porridge to Margaret Gets Her Oats after a friend of Stephanie (AKA Stef -Drummer Mick Pointer’s girlfriend, who also ran The Web for a while) called Margaret, got laid for the first time! It was later shortened to Margaret. I’ll get my anorak and scarf."

Whether this means the van comment is untrue or not, I don't know.

Where to get this song:

1 comment:

  1. "Mairi's Wedding (Pronounced as far as I can tell from my Billy Connolly version, as 'Murray' although it would seem to make more sense if it were a Gaelic spelling of Mary or Marie.)"

    Mairi is the Scots Gaelic for Mary. It's pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable, and with a short-a, ie kind of like the English word "marry".

    There's a way many Scots have of pronouncing a short-a over a longer time than other English-speakers which might be why you hear Billy Connolly as saying it as "Murray". Try saying some short-a word like "man" but extent the vowel-sound and that's kind of what "Mairi" would be.

    Sort of :)


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